• Do I know you from somewhere? Because I don’t recognize you with your clothes on
• Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let’s play gynecologist.
• Your Daddy must have been a baker, cause you got the nicest set of buns I’ve ever seen.
• Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? )Pull your pockets inside out( Would you like to?
• Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tacs?
• I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
• Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? (No) What’s wrong, don’t you like pizza?
• Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.
• Hi, I’m the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?
• Hey Baby! I’d like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
• You are so selfish! You’re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
• Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.
• Screw me if I am wrong, but haven’t we met before?
• If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? (No) Well, I don’t, so let’s go…
• I’ve just moved you to the top of my ‘to do’ list.
• Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? (No) Well then, allow me to introduce myself…
• If you don’t wanna have kids with me, then why don’t we just practice?
• That dress looks great on you… as a matter of fact, so would I…
• I’ve got the ship; you’ve got the harbor… what say we tie up for the night?
• Miss, If you’ve lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
• Gee, that’s a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
• Let’s have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
• Excuse me. I’m from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I’m going to have to ask you to assume the position.
• Baicarumba… are these real?
• You’ve been a bad girl. Go to my room.
• I miss my teddy bear. Would YOU sleep with me?
• Do you want to make millions? Millions of babies!
• Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!
• I’m gonna have sex with you tonight, so you might as well be there.
• Is that top felt? (No) Would you like it to be?
• Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice.
• Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
• Do you mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted?
• Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
• What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.
• Nice tits. Mind if I squeeze them?
• (Excuse me; do you have the time?) “Yes, do you have the energy?”
• Damn girl, you have more curves than a racetrack.
• At the office copy machine “Reproducing eh?” “Can I help?”
• Let’s make like a fabric softener and snuggle.
• (Use index finger to call a girl over and then say,) Sweet, I made you come with one finger…
• Hi, wanna fuck? (No) Mind lying down while I do?
• You got something on your chest: my eyes
• I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.
• Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? (No) Wink.
• If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.

• Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come on you?
• Are you gay? (No) Wow, me neither, let’s have sex.
• Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
• Let us let only latex stand between our love.
• Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you’ll have a place to sit.
• Hey baby there’s a party in my pants and you are invited!
• Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven’t got any, how about a cock?
• (Look down at your crotch) It’s not just going to suck itself.
• (Hold up a screw) Wanna screw?
• Smile! It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
• Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
• Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.
• Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?
• Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
• Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?
• If I washed my dick, would you suck it? (No) Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks.
• There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
• “I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it’s saying something right now. It says that you’re not wearing any underwear, is that true?” (No) “Oh wait, my watch is an hour fast!
• This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
• You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
• Do you believe in free love? (No) Then how much for a blowjob?
• Fuck me if I’m wrong, but I could swear you were Julia Roberts.
• Hey baby, I’ll fuck you so well, the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we’re done.
• I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle…
• Want to make a porno? We don’t have to tape it…
• You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar rise!
• If I’m a pain in your ass… We can just add more lubricants…
• You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I’m 20.
• Do you live on a chicken farm? (No) You sure know how to raise cocks.
• Why don’t you come over here, sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up?
• That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
• Seriously honey, sex is like Pizza. Even if it’s bad, it still pretty darn good…
• That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.

• The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
• Let’s go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
• I’m bigger and better than the Titanic… only 200 women went down on the Titanic…
• I’d like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart…
• Hey! Wanna play war? I’ll lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me!
• If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?
• If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
• Hi. I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
• My dick’s been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
• If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.
• If I told you I had a 2-inch dick would you fuck me? (No) Good, because mine is 8 inches.
• Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
• First, I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I’ll move up to your belly button…
• The word of the day is “legs.” Let’s say we head back to your place and spread the word.
• So, Is it safe to say I’m gonna score?
• I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
• I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
• If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put you between F and CK…
• Hey I’m looking for a treasure, Can I look around your chest?
• Do you like my belt buckle? (Any response is okay) It would look better against your forehead!
• Do you want to see something swell?

100 Of The Dirtiest Pick Up Lines

1. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

2. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.

3. I’m easy. Are you?

4. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I’ll give you the meat.

5. Nice shoes. Wanna screw?

6. You wanna play circus? You roar and I’ll throw ya the meat!

7. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

8. Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?

9. I can sense that you’re a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.

10. I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.

Warmed up? Well, let’s get going with more dirty pick up lines!

11. Wanna play TV? I’ll play with your knobs while you watch my antenna rise.

12. Hey do you wanna sit on my lap and see what pops up!

13. If I were a carpenter and you were a porch. I’d take out all your nails and screw ya!

Some dirty pick up lines, are potty-like.

14. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.

15. Wanna play train? I can sit on your face and you can CHEW CHEW.

16. You must work at Subway, ‘cause you just gave me a footlong

17. I bet you $20 you’re gonna turn me down.

18. Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?

19. I’d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

20. My name’s Pogo, d’ya wanna jump on my stick?

Still too clean? Well, have some more dirty pick up lines!

21. Baby, I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

22. Is that a keg in your pants? ‘Cause I would love to tap that ass!

23. Hump is the subject today, would it be a noun or a verb when you put it on me?

24. Let’s play lion and liontamer. Open your mouth and I’ll give you the meat.

25. Do you think I can fit that in my mouth? Wanna try?

26. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

27. Is your name Little Red? Cause I could sure ride you in that hood!

28. Wow! Are those real?

29. Love is four letters so is what me and you should do (other person: whats that?) F*CK

30. Hey baby, I got the F, the C and the K. All I need now it U!

31. Roses are red, pickles are green, I like your legs and what’s in between!

32. A tall man to a short woman: “You’re perfect height for what you want.”

33. Baby, you’re like a championship bass. I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you!

34. How about you sit on my lap and we’ll see what pops up?

Don’t you love the taste of dirty pick up lines in the morning?

35. I’m trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I’m allergic to sex.

36. Why do I have a pierced tongue? You’ll soon find out.

37. Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

38. The word of the day is legs; why don’t you come to my house and spread the word.

39. If having lunch is like having sex, could I have lunch with you?

40. [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.

Dirty pick up lines can be direct sometimes, huh?

41. F*** playing doctor do you want to play gynocologist??

42. Nice legs…what time do they open?

43. A you a farmer? No, ‘cuz you sure know how to raise a c*ck.

44. Can you suck a golf ball through 50ft. of garden hose?

45. Wanna tickle my Oscar Meyer Wiener?

46. I’m not too good at algebra, but doesn’t U+I = 69?

47. Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!

48. You are so fine that I’d eat your shit just to see where it came from.

49. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I’M cute

50. Hey baby, will you be my love buffet so I can lay you on the table and take what I want?

You’re halfway through our dirty pick up lines collection!

51. Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

52. I own the best roller coaster in town, wanna ride it?

53. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

54. Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one?(if yes: Want another one?)

55. My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.

56. Is it cold in here, or are you just happy to see me.

Watch out you don’t overdose on dirty pick up lines!

57. Didn’t anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew…

58. There must be a keg in your pants, cuz I want to tap that ass.

59. Let’s play house, you be the door and I’ll slam you all night long!

60. Gee, that’s a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

61. You remind me of a championship bass, I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you!

62. Wanna play Pearl Harbor?….Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.

63. Lets play titanic youll be the ocean and ill go down on you

64. Could I touch your belly button … from the inside?

65. Can you lick your nipples?[No] Can I? [Yes] Can you show me?

Don’t let your momma know you’ve been reading these dirty pick up lines!

66. Hi. Are you cute?

67. I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

68. (after sex) Damn girl, you’re like those Indy cars… You can burn 4 rubbers at once!

69. What winks and f***s like a tiger? (Wink)

Welcome to the dirty pick up lines section!

70. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

71. (Look down at your crotch) It’s not just going to suck itself.

72. That shirt is very becoming on you. But then if I was on you, I’d be coming too.

73. I’m having a party at your ankles… should I invite your pants down?

74. Guess what?! I’ve got an 8” tounge and I can breath out of my ears!

For the 75th of our dirty pick up lines…

75. I hope you’re not a vegetarian… cuz I want to feed you some meat!

76. Who’s your friend?

77. I wish I were Winnie the Pooh so I could stick my nose in your honey jar.

78. I don’t know much about pies but DAMN you make my banana cream.

79. True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d like to catch and mount back at my place.

80. Can we play baseball? You have a nice bat but instead of a ball- lets use my hole!

Let’s get filthy with some more dirty pick up lines!

81. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

82. Hey…did I mention I go down like a ship?

83. Wanna play 68? You do me and I owe you one!

84. Something tells me you’re sweet. Can I have a taste?

85. F*** me if I’m wrong, but I think you want to kiss me…

86. I could hear your c*ck talking and it just told me to blow you…. a kiss!

Dirty pick up lines are for all year - even holidays!

87. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?

88. Wanna play army? I’ll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

89. Hi, do you believe in one night stands?

90. Your so hot I could roast my meat on you, baby.

91. Why don’t you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart?

92. Your daddy must have been a baker, ‘cause you’ve got a nice set of buns.

93. Do you live on a Chicken farm? Cuz you sure know how to raise c*ck!!

94. (When someone clears their throat) Do you have a frog in your throat? Want me instead?

95. Do you have a boyfriend? (Yes) Do you mess around? (No) Would you hold still while I do?

96. Are you a lumberjack? Because you just gave me wood!

97. Are you a hooker? Cause I’m hooked on you.

98. (Approach a group of them) I’m gonna have sex with you, you, and you. Alright, who’s first?

99. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let’s go f***.

100. If it’s true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

105 Pickup Lines

1. I’m a raindrop and I’m falling for you.
2. Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet
3. I must be a Snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.
4. I know somebody that thinks they might like you a lot. And if I wasn’t so shy, I would tell you who it is.
5. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
6. Are you religious? [Why?] Because you’re the answer to my prayers.
7. Can I lick that film off your teeth?
8. Can you give me directions…to your heart?
9. Did they just take you out of the oven? [No, why?] Because you’re hot!
10. Do you have a map? [No, why?] Because I just got lost in your eyes.
11. Don’t be so picky… I wasn’t!
12. Falling for you would be a very short trip.
13. Hershey factories make millions of kisses a day, but I’m asking for only one.
14. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
15. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
16. Let’s go behind that rock, and get a little boulder.
17. Oh, I’m sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
18. Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.
19. Want to play conductor? You be the engineer and I’ll go choo choo.
20. What do you like for breakfast?
21. You be the tree, and I’ll wrap you like a Koala.
22. You don’t need car keys to drive me crazy.
23. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
24. You sure have a great looking tooth.
25. I wish I were sine squared and you were cosined squared, because together we could be one.
26. I’m feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?
27. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? [No, why?] ‘Cause I can see me in your pants.
28. May I have some kisses up here, please.
29. If a star fell from the sky every time I thought about you, then tonight the sky would be empty.
30. My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can’t hold it in.
31. Haven’t I seen you before? Maybe in my dreams?
32. If home is where the heart is, then my home is in you.
33. You must be a magician, because everytime I look at you, everyone else disappears.
34. You want me. I can smell it.
35. If you were a drug, I would overdose!
36. If you gave me a penny for my thoughts I’d have just one penny, because i only think about one thing and that’s you.
37. [Note: for use when someone you know is getting married] Hi, I’m throwing the bachelor/bachelorette party for a friend of mine, and I need a stripper. Interested?
38. Is your dad a baker? [No. Why?] Cause you have some nice buns.
39. I don’t speak in tongues, but I kiss that way.
40. If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
41. Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? [No.] Then wink.
42. You know, we were born without clothes.
43. Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me?
44. Like alcohol to the alcoholic,
    Like chocolate to the chocoholic,
    You are the [name] to the [name]holic.
    (preferabally for use on men/women that have an A or O as the last letter of their first name.)
45. If I bit my lip would you kiss it better?
46. Will you read my palm? [I don’t see anything.] I didn’t expect you to because love is blind.
47. Did you drop something? [What?] Your conversation, so let’s pick it up right here.
48. Can I have your picture? [Why?] So I can show santa what I want for christmas!
49. Damn…..your ass is fine! Want to come see mine?
50. You dropped something. [What?] My jaw.
51. That’s a nice dog/cat/pet. Does it have a phone number?
52. Do you mind if we share this cab to my house?
53. Baby, you’re sexier than socks on a rooster.
54. Do you have a band-aid? [Why?] I hurt my knee when I fell for you.
55. What do you say we play some football? You can have first down!
56. You’re like pizza. Even when you’re bad, you’re good.
57. You had better phone the firefighters in advance, cause when you’re done with me, we’ll be on fire!
58. Lets make like fabric softener and Snuggle!
59. Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?
60. Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got FINE written all over you.
61. Hi, who’s your friend?
62. Are you an Alien? [No, why?] Because you just abducted my heart.
63. I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
64. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
65. Can I borrow your library card? [Why?] Cause I’m checking you out.
66. Drop an ice cube and say ‘Now that we’ve broken the ice, my name is…’
67. Are you bored? [No, why?] Because i really want to nail you.
68. Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
69. Are those astronaunt pants? Cause that ass is out of this world!
70. Are you sure that you’re not a microwave oven? Because, you sure make my heart melt!
71. Your feet must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day long.
72. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.
73. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
74. You must be the cause of global warming!
75. Are you from Tennessee? [No, why?] Because you’re the only 10 I see!
76. What’s your sign?
77. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
78. Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?
79. Got any raisins? [No.] Then how about a date?
80. Kiss me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Guadalupe?
81. You know what your remind me of? [what?] Lucky Charms, You want to know why? [why?] Because you’re magically delicious!
82. I can read palms. {write your # on their hand} Oh it says your going to call me soon!
83. So long as we’re in the theatre….why don’t we get some play?
84. If you were ice cream and I were hot chocolate I’d pour all my love onto you.
85. You must be Jamaican, cause you Jamaican me crazy.
86. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
87. It’s my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? “Is it really your birthday?” No, but how about a kiss anyway?
88. I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.
89. Darling, if you were cocaine I’d OVERDOSE!
90. If you were a wedgie, I’d pick you!
91. Milk does the body good, but damn how much did you drink?
92. I lost my virginity… can I have yours?
93. Do you sleep on your stomach? [yes/no] Can I?
94. Are your parents retarded? ‘cuz DANG your special!
95. Do you have a quarter? [Why?] I told my boyfriend/girlfriend that I would call him/her when I found someone better.
96. Whenever I see you my heart races. I hope to win first place.
97. Do you have a bandage? I hurt my knee when I fell in love with you.
98. You are like a glass of milk… you do the body good.
99. Fat penguin. [What?] I just wanted to say something to break the ice.
100. I’m not feeling myself today, can I feel you?
101. Are you a light switch? Cause I want to turn you on!
102. Where is your mother? [Why?] Because you’re too young to be here without an adult.
103. You spend so much time in my dreams I should charge rent!
104. Want to get some air? You took my breath away!
105. How much does a polar bear weigh? [I don’t know, how much?] Just enough to break the ice. Hi my name is ____.